McEngland (or: you don’t want-a american fanta)

29.april.05: i told myself a long time ago that i wouldn’t go into a european mcdonalds, ever. why travel half-way across the world to have the same food you would have back at home?

well, i broke that rule the first time i visited europe in 1998. and because i did, i found out that austrian mickey-dees serve beer and sell toys related to local royalty. that was an important cultural realisation, and i have fast food to thank for it.

so this time, the mcdonald’s i stumbled across was near the rail station in greenwich. i saw the sign outside that said “curry chicken sandwich.”

curry! mcdonald’s does curry! this i have to see!

well, i didn’t see it really, but i did buy a fanta instead. i remember my trip to italy in 2001 and our orchestra’s fanatic fascination with the stuff. since then, fanta had been introduced to the united states. well, ok, a cheap corn syrup imitation sold in fanta bottles was introduced to the united states, along with the most annoying commercials the american world has ever seen. girls in colourful revealing clothing doing some cha-cha thing and asking their viewers if they want a fanta, WAHNT-uh FAWN-tuh, FAWN-tuh! DONTCHA WANTA FANTA??

so good news for us on this side of the pond: no american in their right mind will sap our plentiful fanta resources. we will get this sparkling fresh goodness all to ourselves, because americans rightfully believe that fanta is disgusting. they don't know how light and crisp and refreshing this sweet elixir truly is.

but little do americans know that drinks, much like television shows, just can’t be exported without losing flavour.